blah, blah

This is me.

For a long time, after i'd close my eyes and try to wander to sleep, i'd hear a voice asking me only one thing, rarely saying more. "What is your name?" - it is a male voice - and after several years it has come and gone and i'd repeat my name over and over to stop him from asking again. Today, i heard it again for the first time in a few months, but thought it might be saying "who are you" and i felt a bit uncomfortable with that because i'm not entirely sure of the answer!!

I have a lot of fears. Going out. Meeting new people. Living forever, as i am now. i feel dull and frustrated at the same time. I'm like a ball bouncing inside a plastic bubble. I don't mean to sound negative. blah blah.

I had such a laugh with my daughter last night, i hurt. She is so funny and we can just bounce off of each other and find the same things funny. We both like thinking about living in the future. I want to have sex with a Kingon (!!) and she's a sci-fi devotee (and mysteries). She is a voracious reader and my concetration levels won't let me but i'd rather see Worf than imagine him!!

Television still disturbs me after all these years. Now, cable sends us to every corner of the world that maybe we shouldn't even be in, and there's only a few edifying shows thrown into the mix. News (should come with a rating/ warning); crime shows, killing, gratuitous sex; bombs, real bombs blowing childrens' arms off and then........the ridiculous ad for skin softener or Jaguars.

My favourite is the current fad of air fresheners. In six years (or less) we'll be advised of the health hazards of breathing in chemicals from deodorizers along with some illness caused by anti-baterical cleaning products. I usually have to turn the volume down when they come on. And why the hell do we need air fresheners when there are childrens' arms being blown off.

People have such difficulty getting through to government services, what makes us think we can penetrate a corporation which, obviously, can easily cover up their disclosure responsibility.

Star Trek - the Borg - resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.

I just felt like blabbing.
heather