???

PTSD is a relatively new label and/or diagnosis but provides a good framework (i think) for people trying to come to terms with symptoms (depression, anxiety, self-medication, acute sensitivity/ awareness, flashbacks, disociation, etc) from having participated in trauma. Once i heard the term and looked at the symptoms, it was a revelation of self-awareness; yes, like a puzzle piece snapping into place. O MY GOD - that's me!!

Despite the above (or because of it?), i have a set of new rules of conduct regarding interaction, activity and expression of values (spiritual and philosophical) which better reflect my needs and my health. Perhaps i've just adaptated? That's my definition of "recovery" anyway so i must be doing something right.

But the problem, now, lies in the fear of diminished capacity. It scares me. Everything i do seems exaggerated and difficult. Fear - paralysis, depression; Fear - anxiety, paralysis. Hmmmm.....seems to be a pattern. I'm sad that psychotherapy is such a stumbling block for me now. I have very little trust in the process (for good reason) but i do remember the value of just unloading on someone.

This is the one phrase which guarentees that false or suspect information is following: "A recent survey (study) suggests......". This strategy of "dis-reporting" on Yahoo is such a pile of poppycock. It's like I'm reading "The Enquirer" or something.

So, it seems i'm meandering around the subject which is ????????