Every region, every province, every country has a different response to people with mental health issues.  Some have no tolerance, some over-plan till they get it all messed up, some have compassion but no resources but not one "gets it".  A recent experience in the hospital reminded me of how poorly people are treated who are mentally unstable and how much pressure is put on them to "buck up" and get back into the saddle.  Mostly, it's because there is nowhere to "put" people!  It's very difficult for the unstable and for people who's mind is murky with drugs and confused with what is real and what is not, to find a "home".  A home where one can be loved, can be real and/or to choose to live alone or with people who understand the challenges (and not berate them or discount them).

You are a dollar figure that needs to get released as soon as possible to decrease costs. Of course, this is the case with every medical need in this country, the 53rd state.(or whatever people call Canada these days)!

People often think the mentally ill are faking it, i think....maybe for sympathy, maybe so they don't have to work or whatever.  It probably happens but, man, it would be weird to keep that up.  Before my diagnosis i had to work SOOOOO hard to "play" normal because i needed to work, i wanted to work, i loved my work, it was satisfying in so many ways, i miss it so much, really.  I think the word they use for faking is "maligning".  "Is the patient maligning"?

I feel questioned as to my motives. I feel so "monitored". Am i making good choices or am i going to act crazy and do something i shouldn't.

Isn't it alright to pull over when i get lost and just wait until i remember where i'm going?  Don't you think i wish i wasn't pulled down into depression and unable to get out of bed.  Don't you think i'd like to go everywhere, anywhere without planning for probable, imminent disaster.  My experience is that mentally ill people are often not trusted once they break down.  That's why i think this whole "recovery" and "community" business is government funded crap talk: the only thing they could come up with to rationalize the increase of people with mental illness in the community (because it's much cheaper (as in MUCH) cheaper) to keep "them" in those big buildings.  I was and still am in favour of the closing of institutions but "psych" wards in hospitals?  Um.  No thanks.  I'd rather be at risk. I encountered so many people in my job who would NOT go to a hostel or hospital or go on welfare because then?  You're in the system.


Haven't we talked about the exploitation of the mentally ill and/or the homeless.  O, yes - it's got it's own economy:  Money Mart, Pawn Shoppes, Price Choppers, Dollar Stores, the various church associated second-hand clothing shops/ furniture (but the antique dealers usually snatch up the good pieces early), No-Credit Needed furniture and appliances stores (including t.v.'s etc.) and charging you 29% interest,

I feel sometimes (it's kind of sneaky suspicion) that people exploit my illness at times and it is a HORRIBLE feeling, let me tell you.  It erodes my trust in that person (for several moments) but at the same time (50/50), she/he might be right.  Maybe you did say the 23rd and i wrote down the 32nd.  You're right, of course.  How silly of me.  Goodness.  But i always go on the side of the person because i don't want my trust broken.  Think the best and the best will happen, says Mary Poppins, she does!!

And God/de -i'm not the crazy one.  Look at the crap our grandchildren are watching.  I caught my eight year old watching something inappropriate on YouTube (of all places!).  Well, you bet i got him off that pdq and i told his parents and i know the boy who introduced him to it;  i feel like going to his parents.  Grrrrrr.   Makes me think of Marx and alienation,.  George Orwell and Animal Farm, some of the top science fiction writers over the years - telling us, pointing to a dim future for the earth, for the peoples of the earth if they continue to allow capitalism to guide them and i surely do believe that, mister, take that to the bank.  

Digressing: kind of tired.

PTSD - what shall we do?  How will you manifest, what will we see.
Let me distinguish myself, if you please:
i won't  make a promise i can't really keep
and I'll remind you of the devil's deals while asleep.. 

My current favourite  fabric design is "Tartan".  I think my son-in-law would say "Achien" (sp), meaning "strong opinionated woman..  Ah yes - the strong Scotswoman who has your back!!   That's me!  Smile (despite what a doink i am!!!).  God, didn't we talk about eroding self- esteem?  Stay tuned, ladies and gentleman for episode # 2 in the ongoing saga:  "Will the Scotswoman survive"!!!