Ok. Here's the deal. I just went through a breakup and have been through hell, didn't like it, got out, but but but but.....nothing makes sense. In my mind. In my intellect at this particular moment and always. Yes. I had dignity ripped from me again and turmoil and injury are following me like my shadow. The mental case: Language and mental health. Interesting topic. (I can't believe the ebb of duplication - abrupt, insane thoughts going through my mind). It was, well, hell!!!! (as it would be for anyone). But the "how" of the break-up will never be told. And to me, that is not justice but discriminatory. But, don't the injustices in life be funnelled through one point and right now that point would be ME!!!!!! Seriously, I feel a dart board.
So in and through retrospection of the TDT (two day tsunami), I discovered a crack in the system, an important one, and i want someone to notice it with me. It feels important to do this so i'm exploring venues on how to deal with the issue: medical malpractice? I'll keep you informed, of course, but the experience has naturally affected my mental health in a TOTALLY unacceptable level of intensity and frequency of the symptoms. This "injustice" might be important in the long run (in terms of planning) but short-term may help me more fully understand what happened.
My life situation now involves my daughter, her husband and their three children, aged 8, 4, and one. Yes. Two friends have come forward that i didn't really expect would. Nah, the one, for sure. N. will always be there for me.
Will it ever end?
Will what ever end?
I am getting more treatment so i suppose that's good but i hate social workers - I've had three bad experiences with them over the years that have coloured me, of course, but just the telling and re-telling and hashing over my "issues" is too hard. I get worse when i do it. But i do get very tired, keeping it inside - i'm for lettin' it all hang out there. NOT!! I want discretion and dignity, keeping it all straight is good and having a good advocate. If only i had a secretary following me around!!! At least there are no other drugs they can give me (i think!). Enough is enough. But it's not that of which i am concerned. It's the mental legitimacy of a mental patient's view. Competency, i guess. Truth or fiction - you tell me? Really, people think there's no way a mental patient could also be sane.
I put Owen back on my page. I miss him so much, i ache. I feel sick walking by a pet store and i slow down and watch, whenever a large dog goes by. So. I don't want to forget him.
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